gary/kevin

is it weird to recognize someone as someone else? so here goes; i have this friend, his name is gary, but i tend to call him a kevin because to me he looks like a kevin from the start. like when i met him, really; i did not know him at all and i didn't even ask what the f was his name, i just THOUGHT i should call him kevin because he soooo looks like a kevin. so to hide my confusion, i say to people: "this is kevin, spelled G-A-R-Y." you get it? i made it look like a dumb dumb joke, when really, it's just to hide my confusion? i don't know if that's weird, but to me it's normal. 'kevin' doesn't seem to mind, or if he does, he won't tell me. he's too nice (:

now he might think i am a stocker caahs' i wrote a blog about him. *panic@

Here's Another Rant

This is another from my other acc.

The thought of trying to help people never occurred to me. But, don't get me wrong; i help people all the time. I'm just never really aware of it. It hasn't been lately though until i felt something inside me change. I guess i'm unaware that while i'm doing my everyday thing, i'm changing all the while and at the same time i'm also trying to find who i truly am. What i am and who i shall be. I tried to establish myself in so many ways before. But somehow, there's always something blocking me from what i want to be. Those things that block me have always been my self-consciousness; I've always been afraid of what other people will think of me; whatever. Lately though, i try my best to impress no one but myself. If no one likes it, then okay; I do. Lately, i found out that i really do want to find myself, to find out who i am inside. The world is full of constant change, yes; but no one can really change me now; yahknow? I've always thought that if i call someone my bestfriend, they'll stay as my bestfriend... Some of them utterly do, but most of them don't. I learned that most people don't just stay by your side. Anywho, about finding myself.. Most of the time, i think i shall be this or i shall be that; but something stops me, and that one thing is mainly how I’m too ‘young’ to that. I’m supposedly too young to help people and to help the world. I must admit, I do try to tackle so many projects at once thinking I can do it. I can’t. I do try to empower myself, because I always think that no one else will do it for me; why not do it myself, yahknow? I try to authorize myself thinking that I can do it. I do that. One thing that I feel enlightened to do is to help people around me and to apologize for the people who are being rude. Is that, in any way, wrong?

Thoughts of Death

From my older blogger, I'm so good I found it (:


There's really a state of mind. I think. To me it is. But it's also something that we cross path with every day, every moment, every second. Even while crossing the streets, there can be some idiot driving in the wrong lane at the wrong time at the wrong speed and it'll kill you. Sometimes, it's someway to other peopel to get out of a situation. Sometimes, it can be the only choice to them. I always think of ways to die. Not to kill myself, that's wrong. But, the ways that could be the reason of me dying, yahknow? Most of the times i don't agree with waht i think. It's depressing to know, for me, that there are people out there being slaughtered because there are other poeple in need of money or whatever they took from the victim. Sometimes, it's depression; but to tell you the truth, i don't think that's deep enough. Maybe, most of them are just cowards. They don't want to face the real thing, they don't think about other people around them; selfish. They think that if they die, if they kill themselves, they'll be out of their situation or their pain.. But then, how about the people around them? How about the people who actually care for them, that they could've just asked for help. They're selfish thou they are not thinking about themselves at the same time. I'm not necessarily judging those people that commit suicide; but it's wrong. Not in a religious point of view, but as of the point of view of the people around them that cares for, love and treasure them. Don't they think of their mom who'd have a heartattack after hearing about what happened to them? Anywho, dying can be a choice. If you don't need to die at that time, don't kill yourself. As i've said, soemtimes i think of ways to die. I'm very cautious, so if we're on a high place, and you walk like on the tip of falling, i'd scream at you. I don't let myfriends do anything stupid that would lead to death. We take life for granted; but it's not always gonna be there, buddy. I'd like to think that death would be too outta my league right now. 

Schoool!

oh gaaawd, tomorrow's school. first day of eighth grade, which is just a few more years till college. i'm thinking too much. i'm kinnna nervous thou because well it's eighth grade, 

holler from the sick.

yes, i am sick.

gawd, i feel so week. i hate feeling sick who the heck doesn't ?

anyway, it is august twentyone . the death anniversary of ninoyaquino, my hero. i might change into something yellow to commemorate his passing.

twenty six years ago, someone took it upon his hands to kill the only person that at the time, who can take marcos down. but instead of getting out justice by taking the assassin alive, they killed him too. you cannot cover a crime with another one. that makes us as bad as the killer. so let's just celebrate Ninoy's life instead of trying to break our brains by trying to figure out who was behind his untimely death.

Matthew 15:17-20

"Don't you see that whatever enters the mouth goes into the stomach and then out of the body? But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man 'unclean.' For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. These are what make a man 'unclean'; but eating with unwashed hands does not make him 'unclean.'"

Let us learn from that.

Ninoy Aquino

1932-1983

Let us also celebrate our freedom as Filipinos. (RIP)

this is what's on my mind.

so, what the fish have i been up to. i know you are so not asking me that because i won't shut up if you do. but then, let's just SAY you are asking me that(= 

i've been like reading other peopel's about mes because they are funny. and they're reaally interesting, yo. iWOULD love it if you write me one, like the one Elaineeeey'//.petergriffin & karina-hermanitaa, kaela & seeder'z have written for me. Lol, they are wonderful people. i'm so freaggin sorry if i cannot write a lot right now, but i've been busy. specially now, when i am tired & sleepy. heh! iKidd. uhhm, so what have i been up to lately.. i've been reading so much; and yeah i kno i've menstion that like fourhundred times on my profile, OR somewhere; but yahknooo' it's cool. because im such a boring person that i've got nothing else really good to say. uhm, what i've been reading about is: well, you won't even givaa shiet, so nevermind. other than reading, i've been writing too, well, uhm, No. i have not been 'writing', but i've been doing stories, like i'm focused on this one story that i plan to make a short story of; but im not so sure i am ready to give it out to people yet, LOL. but, i need to share something to you guys! i'm so irritated by it & idk how to help myself Not be irritated.. well, you know; people die, yes, everyone dies (what a shocker). but then i have noticed that when people die, that is the only time that they get the best fucking recognition they've gotten in their whole life. like, even if they are big people, if they are powerful people; the love they receive is not the same as the honor and respect they get when they're dead. like, dude, they're dead. i know that they are watching over us, and that they see what's going on. but then they can't say it to us, riiight? we won't get the satisfaction of them saying that they're so glad of what we say about them. Ugh, that pisses me off so much. like that is just the best example of taking people for granted it can get! mickaela//mysister has tried explaining to me that they are watching over us and they know how it is already, but stiill. don't call me slow for this, i just really do take things as literal as they can get, sorry. i should get going now, i feel bored doing this. but it was fun talking to you, well actually talking to myself while you read a day or so after i post this thing up. i'm out.

*i'm gonna ask my mama if my dad's gonna drive me to school like ate said. buuut, she's asleep, i'm scared to wake her up.

funniest Pinoy henyo yet!

this is just so funny to me ,.

rufa's funnnnnay!

ilove funny peopel .

oh & people who cannot understand,

it's funny because the girl doesn't

know how to play the game.

And she's confused which makes

it so hilarious . Lol, the best yet ; lol /

the Pinoys are worth it, yo!

iwass born filipino ,
w/the brown blood lashing thru my purple veins .
ineveer was ever proud of that .
what does it take for me to shout it out .

it took a few books &
a dying woman who fought for
my generation and the up coming ones.
bakit ganun katagal //

i underestimated the power of the people
&; of their religion , of their leader .
it was not only the Philippine Islands
that had to go thru hard times ..


times of marcos ,
when they had no public service ,
not the right public service ;
no tv, no radio station .
unless it was held by the government .


times of martial law //
which i learned meant forced law .
no freedom, no voting whether something will be allowed
or not .
time of the dictating government .


it was not only the Philippine Islands
that had to go thru hard times .


BUT//.' the Philippine Islands had the most faith in God .
in all history ,, the Philippine Islands was the first
to come over a harsh leader w/. a good prayers .
they fought w/out fighting ..
w/out the blood and screams.


prayer overcame bullets .
nuns side by side to soldiers.

& the Philippine Islands is the only country
that ever can claim they had Ninoy .
the only place you can reside in & have the right to say ,
"iAm Ninoy ."

bakit ganito katagal
until i can say that i am truly proud to be Filipino.
i can say that US filipinos are worth living & dying for.
it took me my whole ALMOST fourteen year of life
to figure out that the Filipino people are so worth it.

*iJust had to take it all out , this is what i've been feeling for two weeks already .

show em whacha got .

the stop lights, the beeping cars, the growing pedestrian population

the square lights on toppling high buildings

fighting against the natural wave of light from the moon

the open hearted marches of love, pride, unity, nudity, 

showing all you have just because you have it parades

the lesbian, gay, the bisexuals and transgender's love for one another ;

when can we havv thaat' [[?!]]

the castro street, feel the love from all souls//.

the hilly streets of chinatown

smells of chicken & chowmein

oh the dim sum & sio mai

the librarys w/good worn out books

and the stinky bathrooms that no one really uses

the prius cars bcaahs' i care, you care

for the environment

mother earth

the muni buses with taggers lurking every corner

of the bus//

specially the back

the marker writing on the wall confessing love to

'CL' or chuckie + Eva thang going on every surface.

tenderloin homeless friends

ready to smack you on the head w//a starbucks cup

if you try to take his or her 30cents.

the latino spanish speaking homies & chinamen -no english please- fob(s) 

trying to understand thaa' negro slang 

& bigass weirdass words from caucasions

the hippie loaded Haight-Ashbury 

theyyr' the movement , ask about 'em ||

the sanfrancisco ,, not dalycity or oakland weather 

bcaahs' i care, you care 

SFCITYBAYAREA.

*thees is an original , copyrighted for pure enjoyment & enlightenment, no hating please . do not use w/out permission .